Please don’t DO
Notes to Pandemic III
A student asked me early on in our social isolation experience what should we DO during this time? Or more precisely where did I think the best place to put our energy was? I appreciate the question—and I do actually have a lot of thoughts and opinions on this. In particular I think this is a time to work on dismantling our sense of ourselves as Individuals, cultivating and making palpable ourselves as communal/collective beings—a “Wider Sense of Self” as Joanna Macy puts it. It is also a time, as I keep saying to hunker down, try to get still to surrender to the processes of being with all the brokenness, pain and dysfunction. And, it is likely that the former (dismantling the individual) requires the latter (hunkering). I will share some thoughts on some practices for how we might do this in another post soon.
But first, I want to answer my student, and anyone else confronted by the feeling that they ought to take advantage of this time by saying: Please Don’t Do! Breathe, sit, stop, listen, grieve![1] It’s ok to let this all sink in for a while. The pressure or impulse TO DO is, I would argue, one of many manifestations of the “shadow of our culture” that we rarely question. Many of us take for granted that faced with a problem, a change, anything really—the obvious thing is that WE-MUST-DO something. The only question becomes what. (We rarely ask if we should, who the subject doing should be, and what does doing even mean).
Art credit: Ella Kiley
Part of the opportunity and power of this moment, the initiation that we are being asked to go through, involves learning how to NOT do—at least not in the same ways we have for so long. Not doing is not simply passive, it is not a nihilistic throwing up of our hands in despair or cynicism. Not doing involves a form of being that is interested in attunement, to listening, to feeling, to discerning who is the subject or actor that wants to do and where is the call or request for action coming from. Is it a separate, anxious you/I that should scramble to figure out new income streams, or how to make a difference? Or is it the situation, the community, an ensemble or assemblage of people and non-humans that make the request, or initiate the action— possibly constituting a new unit of action/surrender?
Discernment is key and I agree that this is a bit confusing given what I said above, because discernment is something that can only come from each of us individually/internally. No one outside of you can tell you what you should or should not be doing, although people close to you can give you feedback, and intentionally (or sometimes unknowingly) help you in the process. For example, those closest to us can at times be barometers for whether we are coming from a place of humility, calm and creativity or agitation, insecurity, fear or ego. Here you might be thinking, wait a minute, didn’t you say to dismantle the Individual!? Yes, and here’s the subtlety: the goal is to dismantle the Individual, in order to--or while also--discovering the Self. This in turn requires learning to tell the difference between things that come from the Self, and those that come from the Individualist individual, which in turn requires the period of hunkering, sitting, being-with all that is, in its unedited completeness, discomfort, joy, messiness and all!
However, and this is the toggle I keep inviting us to make: discerning between the Individual and the Self certainly requires a process or set of practices that might feel more like spiritual work--the hunkering, meditating, etc-- but it also requires some historical, political and analytical work. To learn or unlearn who we as Individuals are through understanding how this particular kind of individual subject, that perceives and thinks of himself as separate, ambitious, narrowly self-interested, competitive, civilized etc. came to be. This is not simply a matter of psychology and spiritual evolution—although these are relevant—it is very much a product of the dominant Western Culture, and in particular the version of reality that sees a particular kind of economics, development and progress as so central.
Do that which is necessary: Take care of yourself and your family, stay healthy, of course, help your neighbors. But don't fill this time up with new projects and goals, or beating yourself up because you haven't achieved this or kept up your productivity. This is a special time in its tragic, painful, uncertain (hope)fullness . Lets not waste it. Lets experience it, discomfort, imperfection, and all.
much love,
michal
[1] Stop! Escucha! Fermatevi! Video: https://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/a-letter-from-the-virus-listen/ (Italian. with english translation);
(Originally published: 4/1/2020)
